“I turn on my computer. I wait patiently as it connects. I go online. My breath catches in my chest until I hear 3 little words, ‘You’ve got mail.’ I hear nothing, not a sound on the streets of New York. Just the beat of my own heart. I have mail…from you.” (“You’ve Got Mail”)
I had mail? I didn’t quite believe it, so, true to form, I denied it. (The Queen of Denial was back!)
“I DO NOT have mail.”
“Yes, you do,” said #5. “I am holding a letter from The First Presidency of The Church, addressed to you, in my hand.”
“Did you open it? What does it say?” I asked.
“No, I didn’t open it, it’s addressed to you!” he replied.
“Open it,” I requested.
“No,” he responded. “Because I haven’t been to my house, yet, to see if I have letter too.”
“Open it,” I requested. (Again.)
“No,” he answered. “What if it’s a letter telling you NOT to marry me?”
“OPEN IT,” I commanded.
So he did. There was a brief pause while he opened the envelope, removed the letter and silently read it. ”It’s the letter we’ve been waiting for,” he reported.
I didn’t know what to say. I still couldn’t believe it, so I denied it again and then asked him if he was teasing me. He finally put my oldest on the phone. ”Mom, it’s the letter. It’s to you from The First Presidency,” he said, and he began to read it to me over the phone.
I was at work. My children and #5 were gathered together at my home, reading my letter. They all sounded happy and excited. It was noisy in the background.
As for me? I’d waited so long, by the time I finally got my letter of authorization to marry in a temple, I’m not sure what I thought or felt in that moment. Relief. Excitement. Yet a sense of “this can’t be real” mingled with the other thoughts and emotions. I hung up the phone, my mind racing with thoughts of people I needed to call about my letter finally coming.
But instead, I hung up the phone and…unexpectedly…cried.
I wasn’t planning to do that.
“A woman can laugh and cry in three seconds and it’s not weird…” (Rob Schneider)