Living Happily Ever After

test123

Blog Articles

Unfamous

“I don’t mind a little bit of anonymity; it helps on the subway.” (Hugh Jackman)

You know things are settling down in your unexpected life when you become anonymous again, at least in some circles. It happened to me last week.

In August 2011 a researcher for a television show contacted me via Facebook about appearing on her show. She could not have been nicer, more enthusiastic and wrote a great pitch. Unfortunately, I never got her message. And I found all of this out this week, when I finally saw her message. Eight months later.

“That’s so strange I never got this,” I thought. “Oh well, too late.” And although I was sure the email address probably wast even valid anymore, I decided to at least respond, let her know I never received her message, and apologize—I was sure she had moved on to other things. I knew I wouldn’t hear back, but at least I’d (finally) been responsive to the communication. I didn’t think I’d hear back, that is, until I did.

Not only was the address still valid, she was still interested in speaking with me after all of those months had passed! I hadn’t seen her show, so she sent me a link to check out. I took a moment to review it during a break at work when I heard a voice behind me say, “I didn’t know you watch that show! I LOVE that show! It’s my favorite show, I never miss it!” And I turned around to see one of my co-workers standing there.

I confessed to her I actually didn’t watch the show, I was just reviewing it to see what it was all about as part of my due diligence. She looked at me with a  very puzzled expression on her face. “I don’t understand why that show would want YOU on it—it’s a show about people who’ve been affected by crime, people who find out their spouse has been leading a double life and situations like that!”

What do you do when you’ve become virtually anonymous again? Here’s what I did: I smiled, nodded my agreement…and let it be. It’s three years into my unexpected life and I’m “unfamous” again. Pretty normal for me.

“The fact that my 15 minutes of fame has extended a little longer than 15 minutes is somewhat surprising to me and completely baffling to my wife.” (Barack Obama)

So Much For Anonymity

We moved to Utah for a variety of reasons, the biggest being employment and that Utah is where things worked out for us to live. However, we had a few other motives too. Like the fact that it would be a clean break, a fresh start, and a chance to live where no one knew who we were, who we had once been related to or what we had just been through. Having had our brush with “celebrity,” not one of us was sad to leave the paparazzi behind!

But we had a few things NOT in our favor if we wanted to be completely anonymous. (And believe me, we were all so shell-shocked, that probably would have been our preference had we had a choice!)

Our first Sunday at church, our pastor asked for some personal information so he could request our church records from our previous congregation. I hesitated to give it to him so soon, wanting to make sure the divorce was final on church records so that my former spouse’s information was not transferred with ours. Although I hadn’t planned on it, I told the pastor a little of our situation to explain why I wasn’t ready to have him transfer our records yet. Poor man. He made an innocent phone call to get my birth date, and ended up knowing a LOT more than he was probably prepared to learn!

But that impulse to tell him our story when my plan had been to keep it quiet turned out to be a blessing. Less than a week after my conversation with my new pastor, he called to tell me it was good I’d told him my story; that a member of the congregation had come to him and told him he should google the new woman from Colorado who had moved in–that she had quite a story. He said, “Thank goodness you had told me. I was able to tell them I imagined you had moved here to start over and didn’t want everyone to know your past. I asked them to not share that information with others.”

So much for anonymity in the day of internet and search engines! lol.

On the bright side, I don’t know who the person was who googled me and shared it with the pastor, I never asked, but I never heard a word about my former life from anyone. To my knowledge, they honored the pastor’s request.

And then a few weeks later, after my former spouse had been taken into custody and placed in Colorado’s Jefferson County Jail, I opened the mailbox to find three letters from him. Mailed from jail. On the outside of each envelope, stamped in large letters, were the words “Uncensored Inmate Mail!” I looked down at what I was holding in my hand and all I could do was laugh! So much for anonymity. So much for a “fresh start!”

“This has been a learning experience for me. I also thought that privacy was something we were granted in the Constitution. I have learned from this when in fact the word privacy does not appear in the Constitution.” (Bill Maher)

Bookmark and Share