Living Happily Ever After
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Blog Articles

My Librarian

Date: April 6, 2012  Author: Andrea Merriman

“A good book should leave you… slightly exhausted at the end.  You live several lives while reading it.” (William Styron)

My husband does many thoughtful things, many small acts of service for me, every day. For example, he keeps me supplied with books. He knows I like to read (and I do read quite a lot, especially considering that I work full-time) so he goes to the effort to stop by to the public library, looks for books he thinks I’ll like, picks them up for me and places them on my nightstand for me to read. Even nicer? He keeps track of the due date and makes sure he gets them back on time, too! I guess you could say he is my personal librarian and literary valet service in addition to many other wonderful things.

Thanks to his efforts, I’ve read things I probably would otherwise never have read—like his favorite author and his favorite book (from Spain, by the way.) I’ve read some books I have absolutely loved and have almost gotten lost in. I’ve read some books I finished out of sheer dedication to finishing a task, like slowly working my way through a very long history of John Adams. And I’ve even read some self-help books. (I mentioned wanting to learn more about financial management to see if we could improve our finances in any way, and before I new it, there was a money management book on my nightstand. He’s a wonderful “listener.”)

Recently he picked up a book for me that had two great thoughts about life I wanted to share. After all, “The worth of a book is to be measured by what you can carry away from it.” (James Bryce) So get ready tomorrow for a life perspective gleaned from…a book.

And in the meantime, have you read any good books lately? Has a book ever changed your life or your life perspective? I’d love to hear what you’re reading. I need something good to read. My husband is out of town on an adventure…and the space on my nightstand is empty. Oops!

You Still Get To Write The Book

Date: April 4, 2010  Author: Andrea Merriman

In the middle of my 2009 nightmare I read an article about Michael J. Fox (the actor diagnosed with Parkinson’s disease in his 30s) titled, “On The Bright Side of Life.”  It inspired me enough that I took the time to write down two key things he said in the interview.

Fox said, “Optimism doesn’t mean you get to skip the bad stuff.  If you’re truly optimistic or have a capacity to hope, it should allow you to look at what’s bad and really get it’s measure, and say, ‘What is the extent of this?’ It’s the courage to look at something and say, ‘However bad this is, it isn’t bad indefinitely.’”

The “bad stuff” comes to everyone.  When it came to me, I found it IS helpful to (try) to look at it with a perspective beyond the moment. In 2009, I wasn’t perfect at that, but I tried.  I tried because I believe if we allow ourselves to “wallow” in the moment we may never leave it, and it may come to define us for the rest of our lives and may literally become all we are.  We have to become more than simply the sum of the “bad stuff.”

Defining moments come to everyone in their unexpected lives.  And if we handle those moments right, what we DO with the moment and its attendant challenges rather than the moment itself, can define us.  We can choose to grow beyond the moment and become better than we would otherwise have been.

Fox also said, “We sometimes see subtractions…I’m not me minus anything. I’m me plus this experience…you still get to write the book.  It’s going to have some chapters you might not have anticipated, but it’s still your story.”

His words hit home with me.

My experience of 2009 wasn’t going to destroy me.  It wasn’t going to be the only aspect to me and of my life forever.  I have a story, and it isn’t only one of ponzi schemes, crime, betrayal, divorce and an unexpected life.  I still get to write the book. Although “The Unexpected Life” has been and continues to be quite a ride and some story–with experiences and chapters I never anticipated, it is mine.  I’m the author. And although the plot has taken some very unexpected twists and turns, and it’s still going, I have faith and am determined to work to ensure there will be a happy ending!