Living Happily Ever After

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As Simple As That

“My mother says I didn’t open my eyes for eight days after I was born, but when I did, the first thing I saw was an engagement ring. I was hooked.” (Elizabeth Taylor)

He’d been telling me for quite awhile he’d marry me tomorrow if I were willing. I had eventually responded by saying, “It’s time.”

I was happy, calm and content–absolutely willing to enjoy that state of being for awhile. When I’d uttered those two words, I hadn’t envisioned moving forward with anything beyond that in the near future. Life had been moving pretty fast for me; I was ready for a “breather!”

However, a few days later while driving down the road, Bachelor #5 threw in the phrase, “And then we’ll go ring shopping if we have time.” If I had been the one driving the car, it would have come to a screeching halt right at that moment. I felt like I couldn’t breathe. The thought of setting foot in a jewelry store and shopping for an engagement ring, at my age, was something I’d never thought of or planned on!

I’m not sure why. I wish I could say I handled it well, but that would be less than truthful. Thankfully, we didn’t get around to it for a few more days. But that didn’t make it any easier for me. I was slightly slower to convert to the idea than, say, Elizabeth Taylor.

But Bachelor #5 didn’t give up. He remained patient and calm through the whole process. (And it WAS a process.)

We entered the first jewelry store together. An innocent young salesman approached. I don’t think he had any idea what he was in for. But neither did I.

I don’t know the typical female response to ring shopping, but I wasn’t sitting down and anxious to look at any rings or try any on, and I certainly wasn’t gushing over anything that sparkled. I’d never gone ring shopping, or looked at diamonds, in my entire life. I didn’t know much.

I was finally persuaded to try on a setting that I didn’t love, but I had to start somewhere to appease Bachelor #5 and the clerk. With the setting on my finger, the clerk dropped an assortment of loose diamonds into the center of it for me to look at. I didn’t know if it was the size of the diamonds or my age (aka. poor eyesight) but I had a hard time seeing the diamonds very well. Everything seemed so small. I said to the clerk, “I’m sorry. But these diamonds all seem so small. I think you’re going to have to show me some diamonds that are at least a karat. Yes, at my age, I think I need at least a karat.”

The salesman replied, “Ma’am, all of the stones I’m showing you are LARGER than a karat; in fact, most of them are close to two karats!” (See? I told you I didn’t know anything.)

I knew then and there I was fighting a battle I couldn’t win because I didn’t even have a clue what the rules were! We left without buying anything. And the only decision I’d arrived at after that ring shopping experience, was that I didn’t want a diamond ring.

I hated ring shopping. The things men “make” women do. Lol.

“Men are like a deck of cards, you need a heart to love ‘em, a diamond to marry ‘em, a club to beat ‘em and a spade to bury ‘em.”

If only it were as simple as that.

Shut Me Up!

“I feel very adventurous. There are so many doors to be opened, and I’m not afraid to look behind them.” (Elizabeth Taylor)

The door opened and a woman stood there. I wasn’t quite sure who she could be. First, she was stunningly attractive; radiant and glowing. The type of woman that everyone notices when she walks into a room.

Second, she looked too young to be a mother of a woman my age. I wondered if I’d gone to the wrong house.

I didn’t know what to say. The woman and I stood looking at each other, not saying a word, for several seconds. All we could do was stare!

At about the same moment, we both spoke–almost the same thing: “Is it really you?”

We both laughed and said, “It’s really me!”

Her next question caught me off-guard. She asked, “Well, what do you think?”

Big mistake. I am a person who says what I think. I’ll tell you, honestly, what I’m thinking–especially if you ask me. And unfortunately, my thoughts are expressed pretty much without censorship.

Think about it. What would any sane, normal, sensible, classy, dignified (all of the things I someday hope to be) woman say in a moment like that? What should you say, for the first time, to the woman who gave you life? What should be the first words out of your mouth?

I’m sure everything you’re thinking is more appropriate than what I came up with, unexpectedly, on the spur of the moment! Here is what popped out of my mouth:

“What do I think? I am thinking you are one HOT woman!”

Did I really say that? Yes, I really did. No, “Thank you for giving me life,” or any other expression of thanks or love; apparently “HOT” is the best I can do in a moment like that. Somebody, please shut me up!

Although, “The doors we open and close each day decide the lives we live,” (Flora Whittemore) I believe our words have an impact too.

I need to work on that.