Ok, that’s not quite true. From the moment my unexpected life began, I was pretty sure there was no way I was going to avoid that day. I just hoped to put it off as long as I could. Mostly for sentimental reasons. But the unexpected life doesn’t allow for a lot of sentimentality. You HAVE to learn quickly, from day one, to lose, to let go, to not dwell on to your losses but to move forward, and look for the good you still have or that is within your reach.
Since March 18, 2009, I’d been afraid that day–the day Peter Paul Prier would buy my violin back–would come. And finally, in 2011, there was no other way around it. But as with everything else in life, it was a choice. My choice. Here’s why I made it.
I believe we learn, grow and develop ourselves throughout our lives. However, I also believe one of our biggest opportunities to do that is while we are children and teenagers. My life was greatly enriched by the music lessons, dance classes, performing groups, art classes, sewing classes and other experiences my parents provided me with as I was growing up so that I could learn new skills and develop new talents. Those experiences then created additional opportunities for me as a college student and an adult and have continued to greatly enrich and bless my life.
I want that for my children too.
Yet from the moment I entered my unexpected life, my primary focus has been physical survival: feed my four children and keep a roof over their heads. (We have been very blessed in this. I got a job and am able to provide for my family. And in the beginning, several friends helped us with groceries, a Costco delivery, a Costco gift card, grocery store gift cards, Target/WalMart gift cards, hair cuts, clothes and even some cash. Another friend and some of my extended family helped us get into a home. We couldn’t be more grateful for every bit of help we have received that has made our survival possible.) But my additional challenge is how to enrich my children’s lives on a limited budget.
“Don’t give up. Don’t lose hope. Don’t sell out.” (Christopher Reeve)
In life, even my unexpected one, I won’t ever give up. I can’t. I won’t ever lose hope. But about selling out…
I actually did that. I finally had to.
I did it for my kids.