Living Happily Ever After
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A Phone Call

Date: August 14, 2010  Author: Andrea Merriman

She thought it would be a fun joke for us to call our mutual friend together.

In some ways it would have been, but due to the Ponzi scheme perpetrated by my former spouse, I was scared to call. Although he hadn’t been a victim, my friend’s husband was one person my ex-husband had specifically mentioned to me as being unfriendly toward him after his crimes were revealed. I wasn’t sure how a phone call from Andrea Merriman would be received. But I didn’t want to get into all of that my first meeting with my birth mother!

So I made the call. I figured if the husband hung up on me, THEN would be the time to explain. And wouldn’t you know it? Just my luck. The husband answered the phone when I called.

He isn’t a mean man, just gruff, and I am sure a phone call from me was the last thing he imagined for himself that night. He asked me my name a couple of times. When he finally realized it was Andrea Merriman, he said simply, “What do you want?” I asked if I could speak to his wife.

She got on the phone and asked me if everything was all right. We hadn’t communicated for awhile. I told her I didn’t need anything, I was just calling to let her know I’d met an old friend of hers and gave the phone to my birth mother.

They had QUITE a chat. Old friends catching up on their lives in the most unexpected of ways!

The rest of the evening consisted of things you’d expect when reuniting with the mother who gave you life. I showed her pictures of my childhood and life, she showed me pictures of her children. I met one of her five children (and I really liked him.) She told me everything she could remember about my birth father, I told her about my children and divorce and new life; we enjoyed a very comfortable visit.

But at the top of my list of interesting things about our first meeting was the fact that my Colorado friend, a friend of mine since approximately 1994, had not only known my birth mother but had been her best friend and college roommate!

Have I ever said it’s a SMALL world? Because I really believe it is!

Bachelor #30: It’s A Too Small World

Date: July 30, 2010  Author: Andrea Merriman

“It’s a small world, but I wouldn’t want to have to paint it.” (Stephen Wright)

I love Disney. Anything Disney. I love “It’s a Small World.” But Bachelor #30 made my world a little too small.

I met him online. And it turns out, he had grown up in the same area as one family of my cousins, and knew my uncle very well. Turns out he had also dated, had been “practically engaged,” to one of my good friends from Denver I’d known the previous 20 years prior to her marriage to the man I knew as her husband!

He was smart, interesting, introspective, thoughtful, fit, loved to dance, had a great job, a very nice extended family, one son, was a great father, and an almost overly cordial relationship with his ex-wife.

But despite how great he was, I had a couple of concerns.

First, his marital history. He had married in his late 30s (and would never actually reveal the exact age he had married; he always acted like he couldn’t quite remember how old he was–who doesn’t know how old they were when they married?) He was married less than 5 years and then divorced (and would never actually reveal how long he had been divorced; he always acted like he couldn’t quite remember–who doesn’t know how long they’ve been divorced?)

The fact that he was 48 years old and had really only spent 5 years of his life married concerned me. I didn’t think that demonstrated enough flexibility and history to take on a my family like mine some day!

Second, he traveled the world for work a lot. He was gone for three weeks to one month at a time. I was married to a man who had traveled for “work” a lot. I had spent a lot of time alone and decided the next time around, that I wanted something different the next time. (I’m not only looking for a partner for me, due to the circumstances of my divorce, I am also looking for someone who will be a father to my children. It’s hard to be that when you’re gone a lot of the time.)

And last of all, I felt our common associations made my world a little bit too small!

“It’s a small world, but we all run in big circles.” (Sasha Azevedo)

So long, Bachelor #30.

The circles are getting exhausting.