I knew if I was ever going to be happy again, I had to forgive. I had to forgive my husband, I had to forgive anyone who had been unkind to me or persecuted ME because of the crimes the man I was married to had committed, I had to forgive everyone of everything. “To forgive” was the one thing I required of my children, as well.
I did this because you cannot hold on to anger, grudges, hatred or anything like that–because they’re like acid. They destroy the vessel they’re stored in. They ruin you. Refusing to forgive is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die. So forgiving is one of the most important aspects of recovering, rebuilding and moving on.
Keep in mind, you may have to forgive more than once. I know I certainly have had to! It seems like recovery, and the forgiveness required to recover, is like ocean waves. The waves ebb and flow. You forgive, heal and recover…and then discover things you never knew about that you have to then process, forgive, heal and recover from! Forgiveness takes place in time, over time. Believe it or not, four-five years later, I STILL have the occasional wave. But thankfully, the waves are fewer and further between.
Don’t beat yourself up for that. Deal with those feelings when they hit, forgive, and move on.