Living Happily Ever After

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Bachelor #15: The Cowboy (Without A Pillow To Lay His Head)

This bachelor, I’ve learned, is somewhat infamous in the Utah County singles scene. I didn’t know it at the time until after I dated him. (What can I say? I’m relatively “new” here!)

Bachelor #15 was a total cowboy who wore cowboy boots. And at the end, I found out he was a lot more like the lone cowboys I’d seen in movies than I’d ever realized: riding alone through rugged country on a trusty horse, drinking out of a tin cup, rolling a blanket out on the dirt next to a campfire under the stars without so much as a pillow on which to lay his head as he slept…but somehow, it’s MUCH more attractive in the movies!

He was an outdoorsman. He knew how to sew. He knew how to preserve food through canning. And as it turns out, not only did he get in fights (physical, fist fights) he drank out of Mason jars instead of glasses! (In my defense, I didn’t know these things until our last date–more on that is coming.)

I don’t know that we had much, if anything in common, other than he was 6’2″ and 6’2″ has always been my favorite height!

For me, in my unexpected life, he was brief entertainment. We went on several dates. However, my children (and their friends) did not like him. Clearly, it wasn’t going anywhere. The end came the night he invited me to his apartment to watch a movie.

I walked in and immediately noticed an air mattress on the living room floor. I ignored it, sat on the couch, and watched the movie. Afterward, I asked about the air mattress.

“Did your children just come for a visit?” I asked.

“No, why?” he replied.

“You have an air mattress on the floor of your living room,” I explained. “I guess that’s where your kids sleep when they come–and you just haven’t put it away from the last visit?”

“No,” he answered. “THAT is where I sleep!”

Goodbye, Bachelor #15. I know I’m not being open minded at all, but knowing you’re 43-44 years old and sleep on an air mattress on your living room floor is just too much for me! You’ve been divorced three years and still haven’t been able to provide a bed for yourself? THAT worries me. I guess you haven’t heard that, “A wooden bed is better than a golden coffin.” (Russian Proverb)

Or an air mattress.

And since you’re a cowboy, I’d feel irresponsible if I didn’t pass along some other tidbits of wisdom I’ve gleaned from my research:

“Never drop your gun to hug a grizzly.”

“Never kick a cow chip on a hot day.”

“Don’t squat with yer spurs on.”

“Always drink upstream from the herd.”

And here’s a last bit of cowboy wisdom for you: “Never approach a bull from the front, a horse from the rear, or a fool from any direction.”

I should have followed my own advice.

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