Living Happily Ever After
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Blog Articles

The Blunders I Make

Date: February 2, 2012  Author: Andrea Merriman

“I’m more financially successful, but it just means the shopping blunders I make are bigger now.” (Cathy Guisewite)

I’m not more, or even successful at all, financially, now—in my unexpected life.

But that doesn’t mean I’m not capable of a shopping blunder on the rare occasions I venture into the retail arena, I proved that on my husband’s 50th birthday cruise. You can count the number of times since 2009 I’ve “gone shopping” on less than 10 fingers. (Why shop, or even “look” or window shop, why tempt yourself to spend money you don’t have, when you have no money?)

It happened after the candy store incident. (The moment in a store my husband accidentally called me by his ex-wife’s name. Poor guy! He’s only done that once but he’ll probably never live it down, especially since I’ve immortalized it in this blog:)

We were strolling along the sidewalk of a quaint eastern town when I glanced in a window of a store that looked like it sold all kinds of fun, unique, interesting, vintage, boutique-style items. I announced to the group, “I’m going in here. Does anyone want to come?” Everyone kept walking so I told my husband to tell the group to go ahead, I’d catch up, I just wanted to look in the store for a minute, and I headed inside.

To my surprise, my husband followed me. I thought, “Ah, new love! I’ve forgotten that the newlywed phase of marriage is so nice! How wonderful it is that my husband will follow me into a store simply for the sake of spending time with me. How nice of him. How patient.”

A few moments later, his brother joined us. I thought, “Wow. What nice men in this family—to follow their wife, or their sister-in-law, into a store so they won’t be alone. How chivalrous.”

I started to look around at the merchandise for sale and then suddenly it hit me. Just WHAT kind of store had I ventured into? Lets just say the items for sale were…inappropriate. Of a…suggestive nature. And the theme underlying everything appeared to be nudity and…private parts. OOPS.

“Oh my goodness!” I exclaimed. “What kind of store is this? This is NOT what I thought I was going to find in here!”

My husband laughed. “I wondered what you were doing shopping in a place like this,” he said. His brother agreed. “Yes, I didn’t expect you to shop in a place like this, but I was even more surprised that you announced to everyone where you were heading, so I had to come and see this for myself.”

Leave it to me to unknowingly stumble upon a store like that and to unwittingly go inside to shop. Only I would do something like that—and announce it to my mother-in-law, her sister, friends and other relatives, some of whom I was meeting for the first time! I quickly made my exit and caught up to the group. There were many an eyebrow raised in my direction, lets put it that way!

I’d finish this tale by saying, “Andrea Merriman does it again.” Only it’s Andrea Ramsey now. But apparently, I’m still blundering. You know what they say: ”A blunder at the right moment is better than cleverness at the wrong time.” (Carolyn Wells)

I guess.

Flowers: A Sign of Healing

Date: June 18, 2011  Author: Andrea Merriman

“I hate flowers – I paint them because they’re cheaper than models and they don’t move.” (Georgia O’Keefe)

Unlike Georgia, I love flowers. I love to smell them. I love to see them. I love to plant them. A big part of my life has always been planting flowers every year–as a girl, I loved helping my mom plant flowers each spring; and I’ll never forget my first spring as a married woman, living in my own home, planting my first flowers.

However, when I entered my unexpected life two years ago, I gave up a few things (and I’m not talking about the “things” seized by the federal government.) For example, I didn’t play the piano for awhile. And then when I reached a point where I did play the piano again, I realized some healing had taken place.

It wasn’t always a conscious decision. Sometimes, as I healed and began doing something I hadn’t done in awhile again, I realized what had happened.

I had one of those unexpected epiphanies the other day.

It came as a result of a trip to a nursery. We, #5 and I, bought what we needed to plant a small garden, along with some flowers to plant in the yard. I spent part of an afternoon planting all of the flowers, thoroughly enjoying myself. And when I was done, I admired what I had created. I felt so energized and that feeling lasted all day.  I even had the thought, “Wow, I feel like my ‘old self’ again.” And then it hit me.

For the first time in my unexpected life, I planted flowers.  For the first time, since spring 2008, I planted flowers! I marveled at the healing. I mean, I didn’t plant flowers because money was so short but also because I had no energy or inclination to–I had too many other things to wade through, to take care of, to worry about and flowers were the least of my problems. Like so many other things from my former life, I guess I thought that flower planting part of my life was over. I didn’t have jewels anymore, my children were my jewels. I didn’t grow flowers anymore, I was raising children.

But somehow, miraculously (to me), the new life with which I have been blessed is full, complete and it even includes flowers. I am healed. I realize, again, that Andrea Merriman is back! Only it’s Andrea Ramsey now. And she’s planting flowers!

“Flowers really do intoxicate me.” (Vita Sackville-West)