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Through a Keyhole

Date: April 14, 2012  Author: Andrea Merriman

“The view of Earth is spectacular.” (Sally Ride)

I was reminded of this during a vacation in Rome several years ago. We’d seen many of the well-known sights there and then one day, hired a car. The silver-haired, suave Italian driver spoke heavily accented English and promised us a day we’d always remember. He said he was going to show us HIS favorite places in Rome. First on his list? The embassy of Malta.

As we drove there, I began to think I’d understood him wrong. An Italian gentleman living in Rome, surrounded by literally ages of history and beauty…and he was taking us to another country’s embassy? And for what? I didn’t understand why, or the purpose of our drive up a winding road, but we carried on. When we arrived (sure enough, at the embassy of Malta—which appeared to be deserted as it was a national holiday) our driver had us all step out of the car and approach the door.

The doors were large, antique looking and had an old-fashioned yet elegant metal plate containing a large keyhole. The driver instructed us each to bend down, put our eye to the keyhole and look. I confess, I’ve never done anything like that in my life much less on a vacation, but I did it. As I bent down for a look, I half-expected guards or other officials to unexpectedly appear and haul us away for peeping or spying where we shouldn’t be. But instead, the result was a sight and a memory I’ll never forget. (In fact, it’s the ONE thing I tell everyone they have to do in Rome.)

Through the keyhole I saw an arched passageway covered in green vines leading to an opening at the end similar in size and shape to a large window which unfolded into a magnificently framed, unforgettable, incredibly picturesque view of the city. It was absolutely breathtaking. Something that can’t be experienced any other way but by making the effort to find Malta’s embassy, getting out of a comfortable and air conditioned car, walking to a closed door, bending down to squat in front of its keyhole and opening your eyes to the experience. (I know, because I tried over and over again to stick the lens of camera against the keyhole and get a picture of it. Most attempts didn’t really turn out, and the few that were somewhat visible simple were not representative of the sight. Somewhere in translation, the magic could not be captured.)

It’s a lot like life.

“Life is full of surprises and serendipity. Being open to unexpected turns in the road is an important part of success. If you try to plan every step, you may miss those wonderful twists and turns. Just find your next adventure, do it well, enjoy it…” (Condoleeza Rice)

We each are blessed with unexpected opportunities—some joyous, some unforgettable, most leading to growth or the expanding of our soul in one way or another, and literally all of them unanticipated. But by choosing to embrace them, being humble whatever the experience may be, we come out on the other side enriched, and the better for it. It always depends on you: What you choose to do with it. How you choose to look at it. What you decide to make of it or to let it make of you. After all, “From a dog’s point of view his master is an elongated and abnormally cunning dog.” (Mabel L. Robinson)

So enjoy the unexpected adventures and the opportunities you’re given to enhance your life perspective. You’ll be the better for it. You’ll become more than you otherwise would have.

And, if you’re ever in Rome, you know where to go.

He Said, She Said

Date: March 16, 2011  Author: Andrea Merriman
“Bed is the poor man’s opera.” (Italian proverb)

We went to my room.

He sat on my bed.

I didn’t know what to do, so I walked to the other side of the room and sat on the far edge of the bed, well away from him and prepared myself for the worst. Unexpectedly, he scooted to the middle of the bed and reached for my hand. (I love that about him, by the way. Even though he had broken up with me, and in the middle of an intense discussion, he chose not to be cold or distant!)

“Andrea, I don’t know what to tell you. I really don’t know what to say,” he said.

I solved that for him. I said, “I do. I’ll tell you what you did and what you said: you dumped me. You dumped me before you even married me. I can’t believe it!”

He looked at me in surprise and said, “Dumped you? I did not!”

“Yes, you did, ” I replied. “You dumped me. You said you couldn’t do it anymore, that the timing was bad, you were going to leave…”

He corrected, “Yes, I said that but I was talking about THAT discussion. I meant that I couldn’t do that fight, right then, in that moment; that the timing for that discussion was bad–my family was arriving for dinner any moment.”

I stopped. Stunned. ”Wait. You didn’t dump me?” I asked.

“No, I didn’t dump you! I would never ‘dump’ you! I love you, our marriage is a very good thing, I KNOW it,” he replied.

There was only one thing to say to that.

“Then you mean to tell me I’ve been up here in my bathroom, throwing up, all night…for NOTHING?” I asked.

It was his turn to be stunned. ”Is THAT where you were and what you were doing all night?”

Long story short, we worked it out. After a minute or two of “apologizing” he stopped and said, “Wait a second. If you were throwing up all night, what am I doing making up with you?”

I assured him it was fine to continue making up with me, that I’d brushed my teeth after my reaction to our break up and that he’d never have known what I’d been up to if I hadn’t told him. He didn’t argue with me about that, only about one thing:

He says he never dumped me.

I say he did.

But thankfully, whatever the case, we got it together again–and just in time! Because the next afternoon, Monday afternoon, I got a phone call that would have ended things for sure.

“Expect a phone call before lunch from the teacher informing you that your child has been launching hot dogs by compressing them inside a small Thermos and then removing the lid quickly.” (Erma Bombeck)

Or something like that.