“A true history of human events would show that a far larger proportion of our acts are the result of sudden impulse and accident than of that reason of which we so much boast.” (Peter Cooper)

Without thinking, impulsively, I wrote a message.

Something like, “So sorry to bother you, and I hope I don’t give you a heart attack, but I’m wondering if you would be willing to share some medical information with an old friend from 1967?” (I tried to make it vague enough that if a spouse or children or anyone else who didn’t know about the situation found it, my birth mother’s cover would not be blown. I hoped she would be able to explain it away as a mistaken message from a stranger or an old friend from college.)

Before I thought about what I was doing, I had hit the “send button.”

“A first impulse was never a crime.” (Pierre Corneille)

Right?

I looked at the screen, thought, “What have I just done?” and called my sister.

“You WILL NOT believe what I have just done. And if you didn’t think I was crazy before, now you certainly will,” I told her.

Can you imagine being my sister?

She’s had more than her fair share of phone calls and conversations with completely unexpected news from me this past year . And yet she is gracious enough to continue to answer her phone! She couldn’t believe it. Then she called me each morning the next five days to see if I’d heard anything back regarding the message I sent.

I never did.

My sister asked if my feelings were hurt. I said no. I figured the woman had built a life and possibly hadn’t told anyone about me and couldn’t risk ruining a lifetime. I didn’t blame her. Besides, the thought to contact her had come to me so suddenly, and I’d acted on it so quickly, I hadn’t gotten emotionally vested in the outcome.

Tina Yothers said, “I’m pretty bulletproof as far as being hurt.” And thanks to the many unexpected events of 2009, so was I.

I had simply felt I had to try. It hadn’t worked out.

I didn’t know why I’d had the idea, but I had done all I could do. The no response was my answer.

I carried on.