Living Happily Ever After
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Blog Articles

It Takes More Than That!

Date: October 25, 2012  Author: Andrea Merriman

“Far better it is to dare mighty things, to win glorious triumphs even though checkered by failure, than to rank with those timid spirits who neither enjoy nor suffer much because they live in the gray twilight that knows neither victory nor defeat.” (Theodore Roosevelt)

Teddy Roosevelt, a former president of the United States, was shot by a saloonkeeper while campaigning in Wisconsin in October 1912. The bullet lodged in his chest after penetrating his steel eyeglass case and the 50-page, single-folded copy of his speech he was carrying in his jacket.
Roosevelt, an experienced hunter, decided that since he wasn’t coughing blood the bullet hadn’t completely penetrated the chest wall to his lung so he didn’t go to the hospital immediately but instead, delivered his speech with blood seeping into his shirt. He spoke for 90 minutes, opening his speech with this line: “Ladies and gentlemen, I don’t know whether you fully understand that I have just been shot, but it takes more than that to kill a Bull Moose.”
Later, due to the location of the bullet, doctors decided it would be more dangerous to remove the bullet than leave it in place; Roosevelt carried the bullet with him the rest of his life.
Now, I have nothing against obtaining medical care when injured. In fact, I believe I would have gone straight to a hospital had that happened to me, but I admire Teddy for his grit. And I can’t help but think we’d have a lot more triumphs and successes among us and throughout the world  if everyone, when faced with a challenge or an adversity  responded to life by saying, “It takes more than that!” and carried on, and eventually triumphed, despite it.

Anti-Aging Secret of The Unexpected Life

Date: October 17, 2010  Author: Andrea Merriman

“Appearance is something you should definitely consider when you’re going out. Have your girlfriend clip your nails or something like that.” (Usher Raymond)

Appearance. Many times, it’s everything (as far as shallow standards go.) And no time does it seem to suffer more, in my opinion, than in an unexpected life.

I see women receive makeovers after life changing events: having a baby, losing weight, when the youngest child goes to college, re-entering the workforce, etc…But one I’ve never seen, yet is probably needed more than any other time, is after someone is handed an unexpected life on a platter of darkness and devastation. Sort of like I was. Where is the free makeover when you’ve been dealt not just one major life change, but many, all in one moment? Where is a complimentary makeover when you really need one and for the first time, have no money at all to pay for help with your appearance? Where is Oprah, Good Housekeeping, or What Not To Wear when you need them?

Sadly, in my experience, there is no free makeover for the unexpected life geared to improve the way the way you look. But I’m starting to believe if you hold on long enough, things can improve on their own.

One of my aunts called the other day to tell me she is particularly struck by how young I look–now. (That is always welcome news in your 40s!) She said she couldn’t believe how carefree, happy and how much younger I appear. She isn’t the only person who has mentioned that to me. So many people have commented to me about that, I finally asked my sister, “What did I used to look like?”

Without missing a beat, my sister said, “Defeated and exhausted. But how could you have looked anything else with all you were living through and going through?”

I guess I thought I was a better actress than I’d actually been. I had no idea anyone could see through the fake smiles I shared, day after day, month after month, for awhile. I had tried so hard to “look” like everyone else only to find out, after the fact, that my performance wasn’t an astounding success; it wasn’t as convincing as I’d hoped.

I do remember at the time I was unexpectedly thrust into my unexpected life, in the throes of shock and grief and fear and trying to stay afloat in the sinking ship that had become reality for me and my children, looking in the mirror and thinking, for the first time in my life, that I looked like an “old bag”: old, faded, wrinkled, blah, tossed aside, alone, past my prime and with not a lot going for me any more.

I guess when you lose everything in a single moment, the shock and devastation that is indescribable takes a serious toll on your appearance!

But I also think as you get a handle on your unexpected life, and seek to find happiness and joy anyway, it is also manifest in your appearance.

So forget those expensive anti-aging creams and potions.

Choose to be happy in whatever life you’re living, whatever the unexpected life you’ve got, and I believe eventually you’ll look younger too.

“How things look on the outside of us depends on how things are on the inside of us.” (Unknown)

I hope I’m living proof of that.

That Is Why You Must Sing

Date: October 15, 2010  Author: Andrea Merriman

“I think I could sing and shear a few sheep at the same time.” (Robert Plant)

Not too long ago my youngest was eating his breakfast cereal. He spilled some milk on his chair, announced what he had done, “Mommy! I spilled milk on my chair!” And without missing a beat, changed the words to a popular rap song and sang about it: “Milk on the chair! Milk on the chair! Lookin’ like a FOOL with your milk on the chair!”

It was so unexpected. It made me laugh. And it made me realize there’s no sense crying over spilled milk…when you can sing about it.

I couldn’t help but think it’s a great choice for the unexpected life as well.

In life, you can choose to laugh or cry, as I’ve written about before, but also to sing!

“Music-what a powerful instrument, what a mighty weapon!” (Maria von Trapp)

Add that to your arsenal for dealing with the unexpected life.

“You must understand the whole of life, not just one little part of it. That is why you must read, that is why you must look at the skies, that is why you must sing, and dance, and write poems, and suffer, and understand, for all that is life.” (Jiddu Krishnamurti)