We all learned a lot from Bachelor #1. Including what to call the men I dated.

I don’t know why I have such an aversion to the word “boyfriend” but I do, and always have. It must be the way I was raised. My parents drilled this into my head: Don’t wear your heart on your sleeve. Don’t tie yourself down. Don’t have a boyfriend. NEVER tie yourself to just one guy–until you are engaged!

So, I never did. I never had what I called a boyfriend. In fact, when I got engaged to my former spouse and went to tell my roommates I was getting married, they looked at me in shock and asked, “WHO are you engaged to?” I was surprised they didn’t know, so I asked them to guess. I was even more surprised when “Shawn Merriman” was the 5th name they guessed! I guess I got the “no boyfriend” thing my parents taught me down really, really well (in the 80s.)

I went from not having a boyfriend, not having a fiance (couldn’t say that word, either, for some reason!) to having a husband. Fortunately, I was able to say that word. For 20 years!

And then I became single again, unexpectedly, in 2009. I re-entered the dating scene. And my kids started saying things like, “So, when are you going to see your BOYFRIEND again?”

It struck a nerve. I just couldn’t call Bachelor #1 my boyfriend. That title made me cringe! He wasn’t my boyfriend.

I told my son, “Don’t call him that. I don’t have a boyfriend. He’s not my boyfriend.”

And before I could explain why I was so weird about that, my son said, “Oh, yah, that’s right. He’s not a boy. He’s a man. Got it, Mom, so when are you going to see your MANFRIEND again?”

I don’t know if that’s what everyone else’s teenagers call the men they date, but it was so unexpected, we all laughed. Hard. And you know what? The title stuck.

Every single man I’ve gone out with has been referenced, by my children, as my “manfriend.” Wouldn’t my parents be proud to know that although they’re gone, I’m still following their advice? No boyfriends for this single mother. Still.

Boyfriends. Who needs them? “I know what you want. And I know what you need. But I’m gonna [mess] it up, yeah, cause I’m an idiot. And I’m your boyfriend.” (Jimmy Fallon)

My advice to all the single ladies out there? Follow the counsel my parents gave me. Don’t complicate your life with boyfriends. Instead, try MANFRIENDS!